Thursday, 21 February 2013

The Mirror's to Blame



How long has that stomach been there?
I thought mine was perfectly flat.
But the mirror says... Am I aware
There's a serious risk that I'm running to fat?

I reckon our mirror's to blame.
It’s distorted from much overuse,
But reflections all tell me the same.
My tummy has symptoms of eating abuse.

I could cut out my chocolate and cake.
I could do daily sit ups and more.
But I think that would be a mistake.
No, in truth it would be an intolerable chore.

So I'm banning all mirrors from view
As the mirror is surely to blame,
Cause inside I am still twenty-two
And my brain thinks all mirrors should tell me the same.


[Mr A suggests that I stop moaning and get on with the sit ups. Huh, men!]

38 comments:

  1. I love this. Now I know its not the Cadburys Creme Egg I had last night..but my bedroom mirror!

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    1. So glad I've been able to make you feel better about yourself. Enjoy the egg!

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  2. Funny! I loved this. But its true. We do see ourselves still in our twenties. I know I do.

    Hugs and chocolate,
    Shelly

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    1. I'm especially aware of it when I'm talking to people in their twenties and wondering how I look through their eyes.

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  3. They make our mirrors like that deliberately to upset us. It made me laugh.

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    1. And those mirrors are no doubt made by men! Huh! A conspiracy!

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  4. this is way too funny and too true. Mr.A should just mind his own business - ha. I'm fortunate. I can have mirrors - I just have to take off my glasses and all I see is a fuzzy distortion that could be anybody or anything (but always thin).
    Mmmm - cake!

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  5. In my case it's not so much the stomach - I've always had that if I'm honest - but when did I turn into my mother?

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    1. Oh yes, that's another topic for another blog, the fact that I look as if I am my mother. Scary!

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  6. No use crying in my beer
    I took a good look at my rear
    My stomach is a saggy pouch
    Far too much time spent on the couch

    You my dear might give it merit
    Simple living on a carrot
    But with me I closed the door
    Cuz guess whats coming, eighty four.

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    1. Oh Manzanita, I do believe you've up-rhymed me! I love it :-)

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  7. When a woman reaches forty
    She reconfigures gravity
    Which gathers all her grace and curves
    In her abdominal cavity

    But worry not, for gravity
    Cannot reach her mind
    Her body might be aging
    But her brain stays years behind.

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    1. Love this, Jo. I seem to have started a trend! You're quite right that gravity can't help but avoid our brains... I hope!

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    2. Oh Ros and Jo,
      That was so much fun.
      Best I've had, under the sun.
      Enough ...... but rhyming is a neat way to tell a story. High five to both of you.

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    3. And high five back at ya'! Manzanita :-)

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  8. Lol. You don't need sit-ups, just change your mirror

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  9. LOVED your poem... and the others written in the comments, too.

    And you're all right! I've been trying to tell people for years: the unabashed truth is, mirrors LIE. And if you must know, so do bathroom scales. I avoid both to the very best of my ability.

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    1. Don't get me started on the subject of bathroom scales!!

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  10. Oh the mirror of mine is the same Ros it just never tells the truth. I remember when my mum had her cataracts done she was annoyed with me for not telling her how old she looked and had a shock when she looked in the mirror with her non cataract eyes.

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    1. Your poor Mum. At least it's a gradual thing for us, but no less depressing for that.

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  11. Men indeed! It is much more practical to cover those mirrors! :)

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  12. I don't need a glass
    To know that my arse
    Is hippo size
    What a surprise

    Too late in the evening and I'm sick (cold or allergy not sure which). Thanks for visiting me today. Only have one long mirror, I avoid it.

    JO ON FOOD, MY TRAVELS AND A SCENT OF CHOCOLATE


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    1. Hi Jo and welcome. Love the poem and hope ou're soon feeling better.

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  13. My phone's a mirror; it can trace,
    For ID, my pretty face.
    But I have to hold it so near,
    That I see all the wrinkles. Oh dear! ~Miriam

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    1. Gosh, Miriam, do you really have face recognition on your phone? Impressive!

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    2. It doesn't always work. When it doesn't, there's an alternative method.

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  14. What a wonderful poem! Manzie and JO also did a great job! This sounds like it could be a great theme for a book collaboration! It's certainly something we can all relate to, though I do think you look fabulous Rosalind.

    Julie

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    1. Thank you Julie for the compliment but I only select those photographs that lie just a little!! A collaborative book on the humour f gang? Nw there's a thought! I shall indeed think about it.

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  15. Oh goodness, now you've inspired me. I'll follow suit and write a poem about my newly flabby chin...isn't it dreadful when we suddenly see bits of us that used to be firm going all droopy. I must say, though, you look great in every photo I've seen of you!

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    1. Thanks Val but see response to Julie above re photo selection! I shall await your flabby chin poem with expectation!

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  16. The trouble with gaining a kilo (or three)
    Is the clothes that don't fit my new size
    Shoved to the back of the wardrobe
    in the hope that one day - oh surprise!
    Mt waist will have come out of hiding
    my spare tyre will have disappeared
    but I am pushing seventy, darlings.
    and trying to look young is absurd.

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  17. Or you could try a different mirror Ros - some mirrors definitely are less flattering than others! Lovely poem - you should let us see more of your poetry.

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  18. Hahahaha I'm with Alex on this. Get an awesome mirror. On the other hand, sit-ups help too. ;-P

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  19. Ha-ha. Funny poem. I'd flip the mirror over and go for a walk, but I know what you mean about feeling younger. It helps to take off the glasses, if you wear those. Works for me:)

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  20. Great poem. And it's true!!! Mirrors are at fault. I've also noticed that mirrors in certain shops (John Lewis comes to mind) make me look MUCH fatter than mirrors in other shops. Guess where I shop??

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